You can't have a testimony without a test

Its the little things that hurt...

As you probably know, we're trying to concieve (ttc). Well tonight my grandma called me and told me that someone I used to be really close to and its my age is pregnant! As if its not already HELL for me to get on Facebook, twitter, YouTube, etc. because everyone is having babies. Its to the point that I'd much rater send curt into Walmart by himself cause its hard for me to see someone else with a beautiful little blessing that I may not can have.

We've only been trying a little over a month but every week drags on and I'm 99.8% sure that nothing "took" this month. I've done all kinds of research, downloaded fertility apps, prayed, prayed & prayed. It irritates me to no end how 14-16 year old girls can have sex with some random "Joe Blow" over there and get pregnant so easily! Before you get your undies in a knot, no I'm not saying young moms can't be great moms (my sister in law is a teen mom and is doing a GREAT job!), I'm just saying its so easy for them.

The girl I mentioned earlier is on drugs, we aren't just talking about pot & she's pretty far along. She's steadily in jail, so is the dad & she has no job. Are you kidding me?

Am I jealous? Hell yeah I am! Not jealous of her life by any means but of the baby that she gets to love and hopefully take care of! No matter how much she hurts that sweet baby before its even born, it will still love her unconditionally. If ya ask me, she doesn't deserve it. That's not for me to decide, everything is in Gods hands. I truly wish the girl and baby the best if luck. No baby deserves a strung out mom or harmful substances in its system. I really do pray that the girl gets her head on straight!

All this plus the fact that I feel awful due to weather change makes it almost impossible to keep my head up but I have God, my family, Curt & Max to be happy for so I really have no choice. It may not seem like it reading this post but i really do love my life!

I have a fantastic family, husband, perfect puppy & I'm steadily trying to improve my relationship with God... Even though I may fall back more than I should.

Anyway, please say a prayer for us tonight! Thank you very much.  :)