I'm so hood.

I've been a little behind on writing here lately, I've had lots of stuff going on. As I have mentioned before I live in a "not so good" neighborhood, crime ratings are high. We moved in July 7th, already there has been a break-in right below us, sirens all day everyday, gunshots almost daily and we watched the apartment in front of us get broken into by cops because the people stole a car. Not to mention alot of people that live around us are big druggies.  I could go on but I believe you get the point!

On the inside isn't too swift either. Mold is taking over the inside of our walls, leaks are all over our ceiling, its just a poor put together place. For a while I was very sick to my stomach and head was killing me, we blamed it on me being pregnant. I went to Wynne for 4 days and by the end of the first night there, I was feeling GREAT. Last Sunday I went back to our apartment and walked to the bedroom and threw up again! I've been there all week and all week I've been sick. It's obvious its that place! Sadly, our lease isn't up until 1/7/2013 but we're gonna try to get our landlord/manager to fix the problems and if they don't, we'll be forced to break the lease somehow or another. I refuse to put my baby, myself and husband (& Max) in a mold infested apartment for 3 or 4 more months, ain't happening!

Since I've felt AWFUL  staying there, I'm now back in Wynne for a while... They're supposed to be fixing everything Saturday but we'll see if that happens. Needless to say, they're not very good up keepers of the place! On the plus side, I'm down here with my family! Negative side, I'll be away from Curt until Saturday night... Another upside? I should be making a YouTube video if I get to feeling any better. :)

Positive Polly at your service!

People, including myself, are quick to name the negatives of their "illness" or "problem" but hardly ever the positives! I believe with every ounce of my heart that with each negative there's atleast one positive... Although it is alot of the times  VERY tough to see! I thought I'd give you a little jump start!

Positives about having H.I (my opinion)-

1.) Brought me closer to God.

2.) I talk to God frequently throughout the day.

3.) When girls have to pay money to go tan so they won't be so pale come summertime, I'm spendin that money on cute bikinis. ;)

4.) Girls have to blow dry their hair, which could take forever!... I put mine on the wig head, put it infront of a fan & go on about my business!

5.) I'm soooo in tune with my body, that could save my life one day!

6.) My state SEC football team are the Arkansas Razorbacks. Their main color is red! Lets just say- I'm a huge razorback fan! ;D woooo pig sooie!

7.) My skin got me out of doing P.E.

8.) It was an easy A for me in English class when I wrote a paper on it.

9.) I've learned to stick up for things & people that I believe in.

10.) I'll talk to anyone regardless of what they look like... Unless they drive a white van with no windows. ;)

People BS too much about pregnancy!

So I'm not trying to be a cry baby but these are NOT fun times! I'm only 5 weeks and 2 days and I've stayed sick since I woke up yesterday! Dizzy & sick to my stomach, bad!

I'm much better when I'm laying down not moving but as soon as I raise my head up, its bad again. I can't even get on Facebook, Twitter, etc. because as soon as I start scrolling up/down it maximizes times 20!  This is gonna be a loooong 8 more months if things don't get a little better.

Don't get me wrong, I looooove my little bug but she/he's kicking my booty! 5 weeks, two days &-
> Steadily sick to my stomach
> Dizzy
> hot
>gotta have air blowing on my face
>I'm crying about stupid stuff

Can't wait to see what else happens week by week! Lordy! Lol. Just keepin it in my mind that the end result will make everything more than worth it. :)

Bugs already givin us a heartattack!

About 5pm yesterday I started having alot of discharge then last night cramping began, it felt like I was going to start my period but a little more painful.

After attemptin to wake up Curt & failing, I called my best friend & asked if she'd take me to the ER, it may not be anything to worry about but I'd rather be safe than sorry when it comes to bug..

Chels arrived at our apartment about 7 minutes after I called.. She raced in the bedroom, woke Curt up with hardly any effort at all (probably had something to do with the fact she was yelling at him, haha!) we were headed to the hospital in no time. The hospital its 5 minutes away from us, tops! We were signing papers by 10:45pm.

After the nurse took my temp, blood pressure, random questions & asked a million rude questions about my skin, we were put in our room. They are the slowest ER people ever! Pretty good hospital but very slow.. Eventually I peed in a cup & gave blood TWICE. Here's a side note for ya, the second lady that took my blood had to be the rudest nurse I've ever seen in my life.. Let me tell ya! But this one by far outdid herself in the bitch contest.

First of all, I hate doin blood work, I always have! The first lady who attempted it, messed up so the hag-lady came in & gave it a whirl. My arm doesn't stretch out all the way, she obviously didn't understand that even after I TOLD her. She kept pulling my arm out to the point where it was hurting my skin & bone. Nurses never have too much trouble taking my blood from my arm! Then I told her jokingly "I'm a big baby when it comes to takin blood so I'll have to look away." She said "um if you're having a baby you'll need to be tougher than this" said this about 4 times in the 15 mins she was in my room. Okay, 1. I wasn't crying and acting stupid, just simply looked away and clinched my opposite fist! 2. I AM tough! I've been through more in my 19 years than people could imagine. Its not her job to decide whose tough & whose not. I'd like to see her fighting for her life multiple times because of something she has no control over & still maintain a positive attitude!

Anyway, hours later the blood work & urine sample came in & my hormones were good but they thought I might be having a tubal pregnancy. 30 mins later I was in the ultrasound room seeing my angels home, the gestational sac. But the baby was too small to see since I'm only 5wks 1day.

The doctor eventually came in after looking everything over and told me everything was perfect! Everything looked very healthy! :)
We're super blessed no doubt! Now I've gotta wait 24 days to go to the actual baby doctor, I'll be about 8 weeks then! Going on October 19th. Excited, excited, excited!

Lightening bugs & fireflies

I posted a quick entry stating that I'm pregnant but added very little detail so here it goes-

I'm PREGNANT!! :D According to my last period I should be 5 weeks, 4 days! Excited doesn't even come close to what I'm feeling. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since Friday... Crying because I'm happy, crying because I'm terrified, crying because I've not stopped crying. Haha its been crazy but great!

I've stopped dipping, taking my anxiety medicine & drinking coke all in one day just cold turkey. Between stress, hormones & my cold turkey approach- my body is hating me I bet! But it'll have to get used to it, its all for my little lightening bug!

I already love him/her so much its unreal (I'm almost sure its going to be a girl!). This is so much better than I ever imagined.. To know a whole other life is steadily growing in my tummy, feeding off me, relying on me is just so nerve racking to me.. Don't get me wrong, its fantastic but honestly I can't control my body except how I take care of it.

Here's another thing that makes me nervous, twins run in both of our families! Holy moly! 2? No way Jose, my nerves would be dangling on dental floss! Haha! If we have twins or if we don't it'll be greater than words could describe either way.

I've decided to start a pregnancy journal just encase my little sweetpea wants to read it when he/she grows up! Just documenting how the day went, how I'm feeling, what we're thinking, etc.. I figured it'd be a great keepsake! I'm also taking pics of my tummy every Friday.

In the spirit of babies I figured I'd post pics of me when I was little! :)

There's a baby in my tummy!

Friday night (9.22.12) we found out we were pregnant! 5 tests later we were 100% positive... I couldn't believe it was true! After adding everything up, I should be 5 weeks, 4 days. Excited!!!!!

I'm absolutely in love with my little lightenin bug already! I didn't even know that was possible? I knew it was after we seen the ultrasound but as soon as I found out? Woah. I'm making a doctors appointment for the beginning of next week. I'll be going to Memphis.

I can already tell in going to be an over protective mom. I'm quitting dipping (obviously), drinking coke since I'm prone to UTI's anyway & eating fast food that's meat isn't frozen- I'm not taking a risk of undercooked anything! Call me too careful if you want but this is my baby, I'm the momma & Curt couldn't agree more. We're soooo excited!
Keep us in yalls prayers please!
Ps.I bet it'll be a girl ;)

Living with Harlequin Ichthyosis

Disorder not a disease

I've written a post similar to this I think but I thought I'd get into more details now since I have time..
Living with H.I is no easy task... From my first appearance into this world I have been doubted, as soon as I was born the doctors told my mom that I wouldn't make it through the night, if I did I wouldn't last much longer.... After a few weeks they said I'd be VERY limited to what I could do and couldn't do. I stayed in the hospital for a good while since I was so prone to infections, dehydration, etc..I came home and  my momma took fantastic care of me, as well as my grandma.

Lets skip to Kindergarten- I started school at 5 years old and hated it at first! It had always been me and my mom so leaving her side for 8 hours seemed like torture to me. I cried every single morning then a little boy who I thought was the greatest boy ever because he made me laugh, bought me a Cabbage Patch Doll to cheer me up in the mornings.. I still have it! Kindergarten went fine, I learned to like it since I had no choice (haha!). The only negative comment I remember hearing was when another girl told my friend not to play with me because "I was yucky and if we touched the same things, she would get what I had." soon after hearing it another friend of mine quickly snapped back "WHATEVER! You're just a b*tch! Thats not true!!!" She said as she touched my arm. Probably not the best way to handle it but I believe she made her point.

First grade I started wearing wigs because I felt like it was easier to blend in.. Well the shiny red skin isn't too obvious, right? Shoot, put a blonde almost yellow wig on a red kid you'll hardly notice her! Before that I wore hats that matched my outfit perfectly! I grew up in the 90's so big floppy hats were my moms pick. Thanks momma. We talked to my teacher on the first day of school and she talked to the class before I went into class... Keep in mind I attended a very small public school that the same kids I went to Kindergarten with were the same ones in my Senior class, give & take a few.

Going out in public was and still is an adventure. My mom used to get SO mad at people when they'd stare, point, gasp, etc.. She would get very rude with them quick. I'm her baby! No mom wants their kid to have to endure humiliation, rudeness, down-right meanness. My momma def. didn't put up with it and would always tell me I have to stick up for myself no matter what and to not care what people thought of me because God made me how he wanted me and theres a reason for everything.  My hometown is VERY small so word got around over the years so when I'm home no one really looks at me too different anymore.

As I got older I started having a social life. Hanging out with friends at the local skating rink or bowling ally was a pretty regular Friday night activity for me. The nearest mall was 45 minutes away (in the town im living in now) and its a pretty big town. Needless to say LOTS of stares, gasps, whispers and pointing. As I got older it never really bothered me much but when it did, it 'ticked me off' more than it hurt my feelings. I've always been pretty quick to defend myself but when I was at the mall with friends or out to eat my friends are the ones that jumped to my defense. I still have to tell Nikki (one of my longest best friends) to calm down, I got this!

Its always frustrating in a new town because my skin condition is so rare, hardly anyone knows anything about it. I'm all about spreading knowledge about my skin disorder to anyone, thats the main reason for my YouTube channel and this blog. The problem is people dont ask, they assume! You know what they say about people who assume, dontchya? ;) They  alwats think I'm suburned, stayed in the tanning bed too long or have an awful spray tan.. Theres a million and three other assumptions out there but we're not getting to all of them! Very rarely does anyone actually ask about my skin without being a complete ass. Honestly, I'm not sure of a particular "nice" way to ask but nudging your friend to gawk at the red girl then whisper is a sure way NOT to.

In my old age of 19, I've learned some sure fire ways of getting them to stop with hardly any communication at all.. Because frankly, after you experience some peoples ugliness you just don't have the strength to nicely educate them on your disorder without throwing a few choice words in the lesson.
1. Most of the time if you make it obvious that you see them staring, they'll stop due to embarrassment of just how much of a jerk they are. So look at them back.
2. If number 1 don't work because of some reason such as, they're too mesmerized by your beauty to even notice you're looking back, googly eyes work as well!
3. If the first two don't work- flipping 'em the finger almost always works!. Since my fingers don't stretch out all the way my middle one of course is a little bent but I promise you it does its job well! It's a trooper. :)
4.If none of the above work, its time to get ugly. haha! Kidding!...A little.

I've wrote about the negatives but there truly are positives!

I appreciate peoples personalities.
I'm so much stronger than I think I would be if I didn't have this condition.
I'm very in tune with my body.
I appreciate the small things.
I try my best not to judge people until I get to know them.
I've forced myself to be outgoing.
I've realized I love teaching people about my disorder.
I've learned to defend myself and other people.
I'm very opinionated.
I'm very close to God, although I could def. be closer.

Theres so many other positives but thats all I could think of at this very minute. It may be hard for some people to understand but I do consider my skin disorder a blessing, not a curse. I believe I'm meant to make difference and thats what I intend to do somehow or another. Questions or comments? Let me know! :)